I just heard something profoundly alarming. Sitting with friends, drinking wine and talking, welcoming the Bride of Shabbos in our own inimitable Ultima Thule way, it came to light that someone of my acquaintance admitted to having tested the semen of previous boyfriends with litmus paper! Her reason for this is that she had concocted some kind of Self Protection Theorem in which it is posited that a gentleman with a relatively neutral Ph (in his manly essences) would... would what? Be a decent cove and be somehow not only physically - but also spiritually - compatible with her. The assembled topers were thunderstruck. Indeed, finishing this note several weeks later, I still am.
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I am thunderstruck by this behaviour. Although if someone is practicing wanton fornication - any enormity is possible. Apart from the biblical injunctions - let us remember the words of a wise man.
Ready you are, as always, with an apt quote MCB, old thing. None were more thunderstruck than your correspondent when he heard the news. Variety is indeed the spice of life, although I admit that things generally tend to be spicier than I prefer once the litmus paper comes out.
Time to mix in other circles. That is most definitely not polite conversation.
The question remains as to whether the ex-boyfriend knew of this hasty (and unsound) scientific enquiry...
..and if not the mind continues to boggle..
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